


I'm Sorry

by lovewashisname



Category: Cherry's Art
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 14:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12134352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovewashisname/pseuds/lovewashisname
Summary: Matthew's hurting, and Sean can't stand by and watch.





	I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> a v short vent fic

"Rodney," Sean called, which made the other turn around. He hummed in response and Sean sighed. "Have you seen Matthew? I can't find him anywhere." Rodney shrugged, leaning back against the wall.

"Why're you looking for that dork? You're always avoiding him," he said, which made Sean huff. That wasn't important right now. He needed to find Matthew, and all anyone would tell him was 'Why? You're always avoiding him'.

"I know I avoid him, but right now I need to know where he is," he said, sounding a little more persistent this time. He ran a hand through his blonde hair, his other hand staying in a tight fist at his side.

Rodney eyed his fist with a frown, before raising an eyebrow. "He went to his room," he said, with little interest. "He hasn't come out for a couple hours." Sean nodded, and turned to walk to Matthew's guest room, not thanking Rodney.

He knocked on the door, his fist aching a little. "Matthew!" he called. There was no response and Sean's stomach sunk. He sighed and knocked again. "Matthew..! Answer the door, damnit..." He swore quietly under his breath, opening his fist and looking at the razor blade there.

He knocked again, worry filling his gut and making him feel sick. He chewed on his bottom lip when Matthew didn't answer, quickly blinking away the tears that were gathering in his eyes. "Matthew!" he called again, and this time, he heard movement from inside the room.

It took a few moments, but then Matthew opened the door. He was wearing a t-shirt and loose sweatpants. He'd been crying, because there were very clear wet streaks on his cheeks. He smiled and sniffled a little, reaching up to push a few locks of hair out of his face.

"Sean... Sorry, I wasn't expecting you," he said. He smoothed a hand down the front of his t-shirt and forced another weak smile for Sean. "Is something wrong?" Sean frowned and looked over Matthews specifically at his wrists.

When he saw no cuts, he let out a soft sigh of relief. "You left this in my room," he mumbled, holding out the razor. "You must have dropped it..." Matthew's eyes widened and he pressed his hand against the side of his thigh, a nervous smile on his lips as he took the razor blade from Sean.

"Thanks, Sean," he said softly, his voice a little rough. "I'll see you at-"

"Can I come in?" Sean asked suddenly, interrupting Matthew and looking at him with worried eyes. Matthew was taken aback, and he paused, staring at Sean for a moment. He and Sean weren't close. Sean had never asked to come inside his room.

"Uh... Yeah," he murmured, his voice barely audible. "Yeah, sure." He moved out of the way, and Sean made his way inside, looking around. There weren't anymore razors anywhere. There weren't lighters, and there wasn't any blood on Matthew's bed.

Sean felt himself relax and he sat on the edge of the bed, glancing at Matthew, who stood there with a small smile on his face. He looked fine. Of course he was fine. Sean shook his head. Nothing was wrong with Matthew. He was a happy-go-lucky ball of sunshine. Nothing wrong with him.

And there was blood on his shirt. Sean frowned and watched blood seep through Matthew's pastel blue shirt, staining it. Sean got up and reached for the hem of Matthew's shirt, but the taller man stopped him. "S-Sean, what are you-"

"Let me see your stomach," Sean said firmly. When Matthew didn't let go of his wrist, didn't let him see his stomach, Sean stamped his foot, much like a small child would. "You heard me... Matthew, let /go/."

Matthew's grip on Sean's wrist had tightened, and Sean was sure now that it would leave a bruise. Even as the large, pale hand let go of his wrist, Sean felt the pressure of Matthew's fingers there. "Sean, please."

Sean paused, the hem of Matthew's shirt in his hand, tears welling in his eyes. He lifted it, and let out an audible gasp when he saw cuts all over the pale skin. Blood was just beginning to rise to the surface of his skin, and it had been smeared by his shirt.

"Matthew..."

Sean's voice trailed off, and he looked up at Matthew with wide eyes. Matthew looked meek, ashamed of himself. He pulled his shirt back down to cover the cuts and scars on his stomach. "I'm sorry, Sean."

Sean shook his head, looking up at Matthew with his features pulled into a confused expression. "Why? Why would you hurt yourself?" he asked, his voice shaking. He'd suspected that Matthew might be doing something like this, but he'd never even thought about what would happen if he really was doing it.

Matthew shook his head. "I don't know why you even care... You never even want to talk to me. You avoid me every day," he mumbled. His voice came out weak and sad. "You don't care about me. No one here does. I don't even have a friend..."

By now, Matthew's eyes were filled with tears, and Sean was already crying, tears spilling down his cheeks. "But /I'm/ your friend," he insisted, reaching for Matthew's hand. Matthew shook his head, and pulled his hand away from Sean's.

"No you're not," he mumbled, reaching up and pushing his hair out of his face. "You don't give a shit about me..." Sean shook his head and he grabbed Matthew's hand, holding it close to his chest. Matthew blinked away the tears in his eyes and looked down at Sean, who was shaking.

"I love you, Matthew," he said. "I don't... I don't ever treat you right, and I know I'm terrible at showing my feelings, but I do. I... You're my friend and so many other things, and I'm sorry that I always ignore you and push you away. I don't mean to..."

Matthew listened, his eyes widening and tears once again gathering in them. His vision blurred and he shook his head. His shoulders began to shake, and he reached up to wipe away the tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I just... I want..." His voice broke off as he struggled to form full sentences. Sean let go of his hand and wrapped his arms around Matthew's neck. He hugged him close, running his fingers through Matthew's pale blond hair.

"I'm going to help you," Sean whispered, shutting his eyes. "I'm going to help make everything better." Reluctantly, Matthew put his arms around Sean's waist and hugged him, letting his head drop against the blond's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Matthew." Matthew shook his head, sobs racking his body.

"I'm sorry."


End file.
